It is kind of funny how people seem to work so hard all the time, forgoing sleep, balanced lifestyles and passion as a trade for 'survival' - not even concepts like 'duty' or 'discipline'. With our current technology and capabilities, basic needs of food, housing, clothing and entertainment could be very well satisfied allowing us to pursue higher callings, but in the ever-sprawling web of power transfers, schemes, dreams and projections, everyone fights to survive. We are pushed to forever produce more, for material things to sate our empty hearts, for population growth that is never allowed to recede, and to push technology ever forward to solve issues conceived of this push in the first place.
What am I missing out in this mess? I don't think I'm the only one to feel this way, but from observation of the majority, most have accepted and subsumed into this lifestyle so expertly. Does the social mingling suffice in sating our higher needs? Is it hope that drives people to accept that this situation can be resolved in the future? Or is it an abject surrender to circumstance? If there is satisfaction to be found in subsuming into this society, then I want to experience it, but this occurs at the risk of losing the 3rd-person vantage point of an individual assessing a society. If the world moves in an air of defeat that 'this is life', then I want to defy convention and carve a path free of these expectations and uncertainty - but the issue is, how will I find out which situation is truth?
Before I resolve to act, I wish to understand both sides of the coin, but perhaps it can never be objectively assessed due to the inherent nature of the conflict. All I can do then is to make a choice, decide; and so here I stand at a crossroads, looking at a vast expanse of possibilities, never knowing where the horizon ends - in ruin or in hope, and I fear the possibilities, the first step. I fear the first day of the rest of my life, and so I shall lie at this junction, to sleep the time away...
